Booga Booga Boy

Many, many moons ago, in a land closer than you think and yet still far away, there was a small village nestled in at the foot of the mountains and surrounded by forests mysterious, thick, and dark.  During the day, the people of this village would go about their business but at sunset all would hurry home as fast as their legs would carry them.  For it was said the thick, tangled woods was home to a terrible beast.  A creature that would emerge from its slumber as the sun sank behind the mountains.  Its strange howls that gave everyone within earshot goose bumps, echoed from the deep within the forest. Near the edge of town, shadows flashed amongst the trees and eyes seemed to watch everyone and everything that came close to the borders of the woodlands.

Rumors swirled through the town about telling a tale of an enormous monster with large glowing green eyes, sharp teeth and enormous razor-sharp claws that lay waiting for its prey.  It was said that the beast’s favorite food was children. The mayor of the town, the less-than honorable Mr. Will Pickyerpocket, even offered a bounty of 100 gold doubloons (paid by someone else, naturally) to anyone who can capture this Monster.

             The village children were warned to never, never go into the forest – especially at dusk – lest the vicious monster rip them to shreds or eat them up.  Naturally, this meant there was a constant stream of curious little ones nosing about the edges of the woods at all hours of the day.   For despite the stories of an enormous child-eating creature, the little ones observed strange and wonderful things near the forests edge. During harvest, the children found talking pumpkins and squashes and all manner vegetables, sometimes even on their dinner plate! During winter, talking snowmen and piles of magically snowballs were found would screech to the air when thrown! The favorite of the children by far were the talking rocks. They lasted longer than vegetables and snowballs, and came in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and would laugh after saying potty words: “Pee-pee, poo-poo, hee hee and hoo-hoo!” These pet rocks became a prized possession of the little ones of the village, although you did have to teach them new words – lest they get you into trouble at the dinner table.

            While exploring the border of the woods and searching for talking rocks, the brave whippersnappers noticed small creature hiding amongst the tree branches. No larger than a small child, the other children thought it to be a wild boy.  This timid creature was all covered in a short fur – save his hands, feet, and face. His coat seemed to change with the seasons:  During winter it was white like the snow, in the fall it was red, orange, and brown, in the spring it was green, and in the summer it was bluish gray.  Others swore that its coat changed before their very eyes, allowing the wild boy to seemingly disappear, melting away into the timbers. 

At the same time, the villagers spoke in hushed tones of a creature whose roar was feared throughout the village. The creature’s yell, a booming shockwave that sounded like “Rooga – Rooga!”, could make hair stand on end and give you goose bumps from a mile away. Up close, the effects were far stronger:  it could scare your pants off, cause even the toughest to wet their underpants, send you flying back through the air, or all of the above at the same time! To the townsfolk who believed the stories, it was known simply as ‘The Beast’.           

            While the children saw no such monster, they did see the wild boy.   Those that saw it up close said it had a round face and large, bright eyes.  These large orbs could change colors and see in the dark.  They were friendly eyes, but often sparkled with mischief.  A pair of large pointed ears could be seen sticking out from all the fur, and they seem to let him hear things that no one else could. Things like the trees, the plants, the animals, the rocks, and the bees. He seemed to have a connection with all manner of animal, mineral, or plant, however, he did not speak.  They said it was he who left the talking rocks, boulders and pumpkins and other vegetable for the children to find.

            Needless to say, the children of the village were a little confused.  On one hand, they did not like the idea of being eaten alive by the ferocious Ra-Ra Beast, however, on the other hand, they found a constant stream of bragging bullies, arrogant adults and assorted foolish folk returning from the enchanted woods empty-handed, hair standing on end, missing pants and grumbling about underwear full of pee-pee, absolutely hilarious.